Everyone wants to feel as though they are who they are out of choice. We want to believe that we are in control not only of our own destinies, but also our likes and dislikes, how we interact with others, what makes us happy and/or sad, and so much more.
We want to believe that, but it is frequently not entirely true. Our personalities are very much shaped by how we arrived here today – namely, our childhood experiences.
Our Youth Gets Carried Into Adulthood
There is ample evidence that our issues and experiences that we have early in life get carried into our adult lives – that how we interacted with parents and friends, what our lifestyles were like, our worst and best moments, and more are all a part of who we are today.
That doesn’t mean they are exactly the same, of course. The problems we had in our childhood are not the same problems we carry with us to our adult life. They change.
But the effects those childhood issues have on who we are today is still relevant.
For example, if a young man’s mother neglected him or sent him away, causing him to feel as though his mother didn’t care for him, he may grow up to find himself:
- Concerned that other women in his life will leave him.
- Not feeling much respect for women/mothers.
Note that there are more than one option here. It is not as though the issues of childhood have a direct path to an issue that someone may have as an adult. Rather, when a person doesn’t receive help for the issues they had as a child, they tend to find ways to manifest as adults. How you experience them may be different, but they are still there nonetheless.
Therapy and Working Through Childhood Issues
One of the reasons that these childhood issues last is that few children take the time to address them, and even fewer care to rid themselves of these issues as adults. Yet if you find that you’re struggling in your adult life, from managing relationships, struggles with authority, anxiety, depression, and much more, there may be unresolved childhood issues to blame.
As a Long Island therapist, I strongly recommend that you give me a call and we discuss the issues that are bothering you the most. It may be that the problem stems from childhood, and thus addressing those issues can have a powerful effect on your health and happiness in the future.
