Ending a relationship with a breakup – regardless of how long or serious the relationship was or who did the breaking up – can be an emotional challenge. It doesn’t matter how amicably it ended, who ended it, or the process that was used to end it – it is always going to play a role in one’s emotions.
Being in a relationship is often one of the ways people define themselves, and after a breakup, you have to learn to redefine yourself as single, potentially redefining your short term and long term goals as well.
Often, this emotional work can feel like a heavy burden. But the truth is that you will survive and, as you begin to reflect back on your relationship, you might be able to use it as a learning experience as well.
Understanding the Many Different Relationships You Will Have in Your Life
After a breakup, it is natural to be upset and take time to grieve the connection you lost. But it is worth remembering during this time that this change in your relationship status is not the end. You will overcome it and continue to grow, likely with several more relationships in your future.
The fact about relationships is that we are meant to meet several people in our lives. When you are dating with intention, you are focused on connections with the people who best meet your needs in a relationship. This often means they have goals and values that are compatible with yours, provide the level of emotional and physical attachment you need, and are committed to the type of partnership you want.
When both partners are practicing intention, you set yourselves up for a rewarding relationship. But the other side of this is that when something is not working in the relationship, it is time to end it.
The difference between seeing a breakup as the end of the world, or a chance experience before something new often determines your happiness. Considering these questions after a breakup can help contribute to future success in dating:
- What did you enjoy about the relationship?
- What needs your partner was unable to meet?
- What did you dislike, but was not necessarily a deal breaker?
- What are your dating goals now?
As you date and have relationships with more people throughout your life, these questions will help you build a wealth of knowledge about what you need in a partner and make it easier to develop the relationships where you will be happiest. Although a breakup may hurt now, it can actually be an important step in finding your future partner.