Every day, we’re tasked with making decisions that we think will bring us some form of happiness and fulfillment. From the small (do we eat this last piece of cake?) to the large (should I choose this job at a major tech agency?), we are often faced with choices, and our answers can shape our present and out future.
The problem is that our process for choosing the decisions we eventually make are not always motivated by the right things. One of the most common examples of this is when people make a choice because it will satisfy their egos and not because it will actually leave them fulfilled.
Making a Choice for the Wrong Reason
We see this often, both in therapy and in our day to day lives, where people find themselves motivated to choose things that make them feel better about themselves, but not necessarily things that are fulfilling in the short or long term. For example:
- You may leave your job at a place you love because you’re offered a job at a place that is more prestigious to others.
- You may decide that you’re going to start running, even though you hate running, because you want to feel better about your body.
- You may find yourself hanging out with the “cool kids” or dating someone more attractive but not necessarily your personality type because this makes your ego feel good.
These are examples of decisions that satisfy your ego. That’s not always bad. We all love an ego boost once in a while, and sometimes there are part of us that need something that makes us feel good about ourselves. But the problem is that, especially in the above scenarios, the decision you’re making may actually derail your ability to find true contentment later on.
Making Decisions that Leave You Truly Fulfilled
The adage “you only live once” is also an important thing to remember when it comes to your decision making. While it may be nice to feed your ego once in a while, decisions like where you spend your time, what you engage in, and who you spend your time with need to be made based on what will leave you truly fulfilled.
Because you “only live once,” the best way to live a life of happiness is to make decisions that will provide you with the sense of fulfillment that will aid in your long term happiness and overall wellness.
If you’d like to talk more about your struggles with your ego or decisions, we at Long Island Psychology are thrilled to announce that we are opening a third office in Roslyn Heights. This office will be in addition to our locations in Garden City and Rockville Centre, allowing us to see more patients in person. Call us today to learn more.
