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Making an Elective Choice to Be in a Relationship

by Feb 21, 2018Uncategorized

There are many factors that go into developing successful relationships. From communication to mental health to trust, it often takes several unique things to fall into place to make a relationship work. When it does, relationships are one of the most fulfilling experiences a person can have, but on the journey to finding that partnership it often does take some cognitive changes before you can get to that point.

An example is when someone stays in a relationship not out of live, but because they are familiar with how the relationship feels or they feel stuck with it as is. It’s important break out of this mindset and recognize your role that you play in whether or not you decide to stay.

You Have Agency

Although it is common to feel trapped or stuck in a relationship, it is critical to remember that you have agency in the partnership. You can leave. You have choices. We all have individual needs that we’re looking for, and we’re all weighing what is in our best interests so that we can make the choice that is best for us. There are no relationships – not even marriage – that someone is “stuck” into.

The reason that is important is because, even in successful marriages, an acknowledgement of the choice you have plays a role in your happiness. If you feel stuck, it doesn’t matter how connected you are to your partner. Your relationship will still feel like something outside of yourself, and not one that you’re making a conscious choice to pursue.

On the other hand, if you acknowledge and are conscious of the decision you’re making to be in the relationship, it will enable to you recognize and appreciate that your relationship is something you’re choosing, and thus something that you must value. It puts the relationship in a different perspective, and takes you out of the mentality that you are the victim of a relationship, and not a willing participant.

Feel More Attached to Your Dating Choices

If you find yourself feeling as though you are stuck in your relationship, it may be time to address that issue with a relationship counselor. Together, we’ll look at the status of your relationship, see why you feel stuck, and help you take inventory of your partnership to determine whether or not it is a relationship that is worth pursuing.

Sometimes, simply breaking the habit of seeing relationships from this mindset is enough to make your current or future relationship more fulfilling.

How We Work at Long Island Psychology

Some people arrive wanting relief from one specific problem. Others want to understand why a pattern keeps repeating, sometimes for years, and what it has been protecting them from. Most want both, so we tailor our treatment to each person’s unique needs.

We specialize in anxiety, depression, addictions, and relationship and couples issues, among other therapy specialties. Our work is led by Dr. Marc J. Shulman, Psy.D., Founder and Director, with a team of licensed clinicians who draw on CBT, ACT, Psychodynamic Therapy, Positive Psychology, and Dynamic Experiential Learning (DEL). We see patients from across Nassau County in Garden City and Rockville Centre, and by telehealth across New York State. When you are ready, reach out through our Contact Us page.

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