One of the most fascinating thing about troubled relationships is how much habits are to blame. People tend to get into these patterns in relationships that are damaging, and break down the trust and connection between two people over time.
That’s why when you’re stuck in unhealthy relationship patterns, you have to find a way to break free. Though relationship repair takes a considerable amount of time and work, there are ways you can break out of your patterns and regain the love and connection you had in the beginning.
Tips for Fixing Relationship Problems
- Create a Safe Space to Share – So much of our behaviors with are partner are based on the expectations we have of both ourselves and the partner’s reactions. You imagine what they’re going to say, get mad at them, and get in a fight in your mind. You need to be able to have a safe space to share your thoughts and issues, whether that’s in the psychologist’s office or at home. Having arguments in your head is guaranteed to repeat negative relationship patterns.
- Break Your Own Patterns First – Figure out the habits that you have that could hurt your relationship. Since you are the only person you can control, fix those first. Sometimes you’ll find that changing your own relationship habits can change all of your relationship habits. Keep in mind that you shouldn’t make these changes with an expectation that your partner will change theirs, bit since your habits are in your control and their habits are not, changing your habits can make a big difference.
- Positivity To and About Partner – There needs to be a rule in your relationship to always be positive to and about your partner as much as possible. Most people understand being positive to their partner, but you also need to be positive about your partner, where in public and in conversations you say positive things about them. Support for your partner is an important part of a healthy relationship, and sometimes affects your own mindset about your partner as well.
- Shared Hobbies and Humor – Couples that spend more time together on hobbies, laughing, etc., bond through these experiences. You want to get into habits of doing things together that are fulfilling and enjoyable. Shared hobbies, shared experiences, and more, all help make sure that you’re building that connection together and creating habits that improve your ability to communicate.
You’ll also want to be creating new experiences together. Not all habits are about how you interact with each other. Some are about what you’re used to. Creating new memories that neither of you have experienced before build new habits naturally, simply through the new memories you have together.
Creating a Healthy, Effective Relationship
Breaking out of unhealthy relationship patterns is very important for successful relationships, and unfortunately too many couples find themselves to be stuck in the way they live and find it very hard to break free. If you need relationship help in the Long Island area, contact me today.
