Many of us take great pride in our identities. We define ourselves by the way that we feel at a specific time. For example, if we love staying home and reading instead of going out, then we define ourselves by our love of alone time and our adoration of books.
Yet holding on to this definition too strongly can also hold us back from what we need. We have to be open to the idea that our life needs frequently will change.
Functioning Requires Adaptation
Different stages of life often have different priorities. For example, perhaps a young person finds that their career is important, and they prioritize career success above other life goals, like romantic relationships. Or perhaps they prioritize relationships, and believe that they can focus on their career later. You may have any number of priorities at that stage of your life, and you may even find that you define yourself by those priorities.
However, issues can arise when you see them as static, rather than something that you’re feeling at the time. As you get older, you may recognize the importance of more meaningful connections. Or, if you already prioritized a relationship, you may find that you need to focus on your career as a way to support your family more than you had in the past.
No matter what path you choose, you cannot let the way you define yourself hold you back from change. Life evolves. Your ability to function over time necessitates that you allow your view on life to shift when it’s time for them to shift, rather than box yourself into a specific way of thinking.
How You Open the Door to Evolving Beliefs
Sometimes, we feel that we need to define who we are so that we have a sense of self and to not feel lost. So, in order to allow ourselves to shift, we will also need to:
- Self-reflect on who we are and what our desires and values may be.
- Stay open at all times to new experiences.
- Create goals but also learn to accept that we do not need to reach our goals.
In therapy, we try to explore your sense of self, and look for ways for you to gain more control and confidence in who you are. If you’re interested in learning more about who you are and what it will take to help you feel more fulfilled, contact Long Island Psychology, today.
