It is relatively common for people in the dating world to say that they have a list of requirements for their perfect partner. Almost everyone will have at least a general idea since most people have certain things that a partner will need to have for a fulfilling relationship, such as intelligence, a sense of humor, a shared hobby, or a particular physical feature.
But it can be confusing to find a partner who meets a few of those requirements, but not all of them. Alternatively, a partner may meet every requirement, yet not make you happy in the relationship. The fact is that you cannot have it all and no one is perfect. Instead, it is important to determine what is most important to you.
How to Choose Your Priorities in a Relationship.
Every person has strengths and weaknesses when it comes to relationships. No person, including yourself, is going to ever be a 100% perfect partner – because perfection in relationships doesn’t exist. This means that there is always going to be some degree of trade-off.
This does not necessarily result in a weaker relationship. In fact, by knowing what is most important to you in your relationships rather than trying to find someone who fits all the things you want, you can build a stronger relationship with a more compatible partner.
Some of the ways to determine your priorities for a partner include:
- Reflecting on Past Relationships – Learning from experience can be extremely valuable in this case. Take time to reflect on past partners and consider which of their traits strengthened your relationship, which were challenges, and if there are any items on your list of priorities that were missing and yet did not bother you.
- Reflect on Yourself – Take time as well to consider what you hold most important in yourself. If you take great pride in creativity, if your career is important, or if you are focused on family, you will likely want to find someone who shares those traits.
- Go to Individual Relationship Therapy – Individual relationship therapy enables you to work with a therapist one on one to gain insight about past relationships and what you need in a partner. Individual relationship counseling in Long Island can help you feel more confident in articulating your relationship priorities.
Everyone has different needs in a partner, but often we do not take the time to truly consider what those needs are outside of vague or possibly superficial ideas. Being honest with yourself now about what is most important to you in a relationship is key to achieving fulfilling relationships going forward