So often, we find ourselves worrying. We worry about money. We worry about our kids. We worry about our job. Some of these worries help us stay safe or motivate us to make a change. But other worries are far outside of our control.
Worries about other people, for example, especially if we are not directly involved in their decisions, are often not in our control. Same with worries about how certain events will play out in the future, or our long term plans and expectations.
Ward Off Worry With Simple Questions
If you find that you’re often struggling with worry, focused too much on things you cannot control, the next step is to bring yourself back into the moment. One way to do this is by asking a simple question:
“Is there something I can realistically do about this, and if so, what?”
If there is something you can realistically do that has an impact on the outcome, then you can let this question motivate you to take action. It’s a great way to make sure you’re actively involved in reducing your anxiety and addressing issues that can be addressed.
But if the answer is no, and there is nothing you can really do about it, then at least you’ve had an opportunity to ponder that for a moment and help realize that the situation is out of your control. That question and answer gives you a chance to learn acceptance, and then use mindfulness strategies (that we can go over in therapy) to continue to reduce the anxiety you’re feeling.
Taking Steps to Reduce Anxiety
Over time, you’ll start to let go of this sense of responsibility that there is something can or should be doing. You’ll also learn to let go of the sense of worry that the worst will happen, because you’ll no longer be heavily focused on preventing a scary unknown.
It can be challenging to teach yourself these tricks and strategies. It’s one of the reasons that many people seek out therapists on Long Island that teach mindfulness and anxiety reduction. But if you can learn how to remind yourself what is and what is not in your control, you’ll reduce some of those worries that are a distraction from the present.
