Grief is a powerful emotion. As therapists on Long Island, those that are living through a deep grief are often the clients that come to us currently in the midst of many struggles. After the death of a loved one, we often feel a lot of pressure from our environment to move on and leave the past behind. But that can be difficult for many reasons – not the least of which because we may simply not be ready.
“Let Me Grieve”
It’s natural to feel resistance to the pressure to move on. If you were ready to move on, you’d be moving on already. It’s also normal to feel anxious or depressed about life without the person in it – what it might look like, what it once was, and the things that you may miss out on in the future.
One of the things we focus on in therapy is helping you realize that you do not need to leave the past in the past and forget about it to move on, nor do you have to force yourself to move on in a way that you’re not comfortable with.
Instead, we try to show those that are grieving a new way to approach moving forward – by integrating the past into your present so that you’re able to give yourself a better future.
Bringing the Person With You
One of the ways we can move forward is to carry things from the past with us into the present and future. We can learn how to integrate past experiences, relationships, and qualities that we have seen, appreciated, and learned from into the way we act today.
Doing so has the potential to bring us new levels of happiness and fulfillment specifically influenced by the person that was lost, even without them here. It’s a way of keeping them alive in our hearts, even when they are no longer around, and allowing their presence in our lives to benefit and affect the person we turn out to be later.
This is one of many ways that we can overcome grief, either in counseling or in your own personal life, and a potentially effective way to help bring about progress in your ability to mourn and move forward.
