The strongest and most rewarding relationships are almost always those where the couple communicates. Communication includes telling your partner you love them and explaining when you are upset. But communication is also sharing what makes you unique – your personality, your hobbies, your perspectives, and more.
Being yourself in a relationship can be nerve wracking and many people naturally shy away from the vulnerability. Yet being yourself will help you and your partner feel closer and more intimate. It will also contribute to a more fulfilling relationship in which you can share the person you are with a partner you love.
How to Be Yourself with Your Partner
Perhaps unsurprisingly, the comfort to share often starts with ourselves. A person must first understand who they are and be comfortable with it to then be their authentic self with a partner. Fortunately, feeling confident about yourself, your thoughts, and your emotions are skills that you can learn if you:
- Understand Your Feelings and Thoughts – Before you can share with a partner, it helps to understand yourself. While realizing your interests and personality is more in depth, taking the time to name emotions you feel in your relationship can help you communicate them honestly with your partner.
- Accept Feeling Vulnerable – Being yourself and communicating that can make you feel vulnerable, especially if you are not a naturally extroverted person. Realize that sharing now will build the bond with your partner and make it easier to continue being yourself in the future.
- Let Go of Past Judgements – Many people have been judged in the past, maybe by a different partner. This can make it difficult to be honest with a current partner. When you trust your new partner to treat you with love and respect, they deserve to have the chance to learn about you.
- Foster a Good Mood – Researchers have found that generally happy people are more likely to share since they feel more optimistic about the outcome. If you are dealing with a mood disorder, consider tackling that issue first.
- Make Time to Share – If you have trouble sharing, scheduling a few minutes every day to discuss your thoughts and feelings with a partner can make it a habit. This is very useful if your partner also struggles with being open.
- Be Honest – Relationships are built on trust, but it is easy to slip into the habit of white lies to be the person we think our partner wants. Rather than making you closer, failing to be honest forces you to adopt a lifestyle that does not fulfill you and can create escalating problems.
Communication with a partner, whether it is being yourself every day or sharing deep feelings and thoughts, does require the right environment. Sharing takes courage and self-confidence, but it is also important to know that you have a receptive partner.
If either of you is having trouble sharing or creating a supportive environment that promotes sharing, working with a professional psychotherapist can help you build a practice of sharing.