There are those that are able to enjoy conversations without concerning themselves with how the other person responds. They are so comfortable and confident with themselves that they are able to act however they want and pay no attention to the reaction of the person responding.
But for most of us, when we engage with others, we’re expecting a response in return. We have an expectation, based on how we act and how we perceive ourselves, about how others should react to who we are and how we interact with them. If they don’t react that way, we may be over-reactive, responding with significant distress.
Learning to Be Mindful of Your Own Responses
To some degree, it is out of our control how others respond to us. We may imagine that they should react a certain way, but we have to remember that:
- They are their own unique individual. We may see ourselves one way, but they have their own perceptions and experiences that we have no control over.
- Just because we see ourselves a certain way doesn’t mean that we are always that way. We may view ourselves as funny, for example, but not all of our jokes are funny and not everyone is going to see our humor the same way.
You may have an expectation of how you should come across to others, and there is no denying that when that expectation isn’t met it can lead to unhappiness. Part of finding more happiness is to start to get used to the idea that the way others react to you shouldn’t affect your self-image.
There are many reasons that people behave the way they do that have nothing to do with who you are, and the more you learn to accept that the more you’ll feel happy no matter how they react.
Similarly, it does help to be more aware of how you interact and who you are interacting with. It helps to reflect on yourself to make sure you are the person you believe yourself to be. But once you do that, you need to learn to be confident in who you are and not let others dictate how you should feel. Your character is not dependent on others.
Call me today to learn more about how to teach yourself to be confident in who you are.
