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Are You Interesting to Other People?

by Dec 15, 2017Social Networking & Relationships

Social difficulties are very common. Many of the men and women of Long Island want to enjoy social settings, only to find that connecting with others is frustrating and difficult. Whether it’s developing friendships or simply feeling socially skilled, there are so many people that struggle with their ability to communicate effectively with others.

Why is Socializing So Hard?

There are many possible causes of social struggles. If you have social anxiety, for example, your nervousness may be overwhelming your ability to forge useful connections.

But there are other possible reasons as well. For example, a bigger issue may be that your perception of yourself is not coming across to others. Maybe you’re a funny, interesting, or caring person, but others may not be able to see you that way because of how you socialize.

You may struggle showings others that you’re also an interesting person that people should get to know.

The way we want to present ourselves or believe that we are presenting ourselves is often incongruous with the actual presentation that we show to others.

How to Learn to Come Across More Interesting

There are many ways to become a more interesting person. One is to simply be more interesting. Go out on more trips. Engage in more hobbies. Have more experiences. The more you do for yourself, the more interesting you are to others and the more you have to talk about.

But if you are already an interesting person (and I’m sure you are), then there are still many strategies to consider that will improve how you portray yourself to others.

  • Ask a Trusted Person – If you have someone in your life that you trust, and you’re willing to take criticism, ask them how you come across and why. Rarely do we take the time to ask others how we seem, yet those people are the ones that experience our communication styles.
  • Learn Mindfulness – Be more aware of who you are in the moment, including what you are saying, who you are saying it to, and what their response is. You’ll need to make sure you’re going into this exercise both openminded and positive, however, because you don’t want to overanalyze yourself or ignore obvious issues.
  • Group Therapy – Group therapy can be very effective for addressing friendship and communication issues. Not only can therapy be very revealing, but in the safe environment of a group setting you will be able to get feedback from peers that is both helpful and supportive.

We all want to believe we are great communicators, even though few of us actually are. But there are still ways to improve our social skills, and analyzing how we come off to others and what we can do about it is a great place to start.

How We Work at Long Island Psychology

Some people arrive wanting relief from one specific problem. Others want to understand why a pattern keeps repeating, sometimes for years, and what it has been protecting them from. Most want both, so we tailor our treatment to each person’s unique needs.

We specialize in anxiety, depression, addictions, and relationship and couples issues, among other therapy specialties. Our work is led by Dr. Marc J. Shulman, Psy.D., Founder and Director, with a team of licensed clinicians who draw on CBT, ACT, Psychodynamic Therapy, Positive Psychology, and Dynamic Experiential Learning (DEL). We see patients from across Nassau County in Garden City and Rockville Centre, and by telehealth across New York State. When you are ready, reach out through our Contact Us page.

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