Our days now feel so busy, with so much stimulation. We work hard. We take care of our children. We stay active on the phone or go the extra mile cooking dinner or engaging in our hobbies. We stay immensely busy, and find ourselves increasingly stressed in the process.
So when it’s time for us to go to bed, many of us fight it. We take “revenge.” We reclaim our time and procrastinate going to sleep in order to feel like we did some form of self-care. Usually, we do this by spending time on our phones or watching TV (two activities that we also do during the day that also do not typically help with stress), only to find that we’re up later than ever.
This phenomenon is known as “revenge bedtime procrastination.” It’s this idea that individuasl are taking revenge on the day by refusing to go to sleep until you’ve felt like you had adequate “me” time (or until you get too tired).
What’s Causes Revenge Bedtime Procrastination?
Revenge Bedtime Procrastination may have a number of causes including, but not limited to:
- Lack of Daytime Control – We often do not feel like we have control over our days, which in turn means we feel like we need to take back control.
- Need to “Escape” – Most of us struggle with poor coping skills and habits. Without adequate coping skills, the alternative is to escape through social media and technology.
- Poor Self-Care Productivity – Similarly, most of us do not engage in self-care, and the self-care we do engage in is counterproductive. Indeed, in an ironic twist, being on our phones is how most of us “get self-care” now, and – because being on our phones is not helpful as self-care – we take revenge on the day and engage in self-care by… being on our phones even more.
These are some of the many reasons that many people find it very hard to go to bed when they need to, and why they take revenge against “bedtime” even when they badly need sleep.
Why is it a Problem – And What Can Be Done?
The main problem with staying up too late and taking “revenge on bedtime” is that typically has the opposite effect. It causes poor sleep, which causes worse productivity, which causes more stress and anxiety, which causes more bedtime procrastination.
It becomes a cycle, and “going to bed earlier” is sometimes not enough to break that cycle. You still have to address the stress and anxiety that causes it.
If you’re in need of someone to help with anxiety, reach out to our therapists today at Long Island Psychology.
