The most successful and fulfilling relationships happen to those who feel they deserve that type of relationship. Those who are confident that they offer value to others in a relationship will naturally draw people to them, while those who feel uncomfortable in relationships or even uncomfortable on their own almost always have a more difficult time building strong connections.
This is because what you believe about yourself is what you project to others. When a person feels needy or unliked, this will almost always deter people from wanting to spend more time with them. But when people do not seek out relationships, it is easy to take this as confirmation that people do not want to be their friend or romantic partner, creating a cycle that is hard to break out of.
How Building Comfort with Yourself Will Attract Others
Confidence is an attractive trait in any relationship, from friendships to romantic relationships to work. When you feel confidence in your own opinions, ideas, and self worth, you will begin to project that confidence in all your interactions. This causes people to see you as:
- Stronger and More Intelligent
- Capable of Leadership
- Less Needy
- More Positive
- More Interesting
These are traits that people often find enjoyable and rewarding to be around. Feeling comfortable with yourself also provides more room for your true personality to come through rather than people perceiving your discomfort. This leads to stronger relationships as you are able to connect with people more personally.
The way you feel about yourself and the way you come across to others is a learned skill and one that can be valuable to fake even if you do not feel confident. This can help you break out of the self-fulfilling prophecy, and boost your confidence as you start to attract more people.
Some ideas to try include reaffirming your own self worth with positive thoughts. You also need to stop worrying about whether people are thinking about you and instead take control of your social interactions by being inquisitive about others. The simple act of smiling can help as well since the behavior can start to impact your thoughts until you find that you do feel more capable of building social connections.
Another strategy is to work with a psychologist in Long Island who can provide more personalized solutions for helping you build confidence and create stronger social connections.