There is an argument, especially among those that are exploring alternative ways of living, that romantic relationships are an outdated concept. Research, however, supports the idea that enriching and fulfilling relationships are one of the most important contributors to a lifetime of health and happiness. We do need them – or at least, research confirms that we as human beings typically do.
But relationships are also complex – far more complex than we often realize. Trying to connect two different people means that you’re also recognizing that you’re not going to be perfectly compatible in every way, and that you’re also not going to MAKE your partner perfectly compatible over time just by expressing your needs and wants. For some individuals, difficulty accepting these natural differences can contribute to relational anxiety, where uncertainty and fears about the relationship become overwhelming.
What Relationships Are
We know from countless research studies that a romantic relationship is often one of the most significant contributor’s to a person’s overall happiness. People quite literally live longer and report a much more satisfying life when they have a partner to share it with – someone that they love. They’re a way to find support, create memories, and achieve mutual goals (among many other things) and finding and nourishing one can be immensely personally fulfilling.
What Relationships Are Not
What relationships are not is a partnership with a person that is meant to or is capable of satisfying all of your needs. That is just not a possibility, nor is it one that people should see themselves seeking out. Some relationships are fun. Some are stimulating. Sometimes you’re with your opposite. Sometimes, you’re with someone that is exactly like you. Your partner is your partner, but they are not a “Soul Mate” meant to fulfill every single thing you could possibly want from another human being.
Accepting and Moving Forward
Once someone understands that relationships have inherent and valid limitations, that is when it becomes easier to understand what you can and cannot expect from a partner, and adjust your relationship accordingly. If your marriage is mostly happy, for example, then the flaws that you both have are not necessarily opportunities for growth, but rather natural and possibly even healthy limitations of putting two different individuals together.
Accepting your relationship for what it can be puts you in a better position to enhance it and grow it in a healthy and positive way. If you need help growing your relationship or enhancing your connection as a couple, contact Long Island Psychologist, today.
