Relationships are so much more complex than simply one person being with another person. They are a support system, a partnership, and an investment. The two of you have combined achievements, connections to others, and more that are all lost in the event of a separation.
If you have felt that it may be time to end the relationship, it’s often not as simple as “we’ll stay together” or “we’ll separate.” There are many factors at play that affect when it’s time to end a relationship, and when it may be time to see a Long Island couples counselor.
How to Determine Next Steps
The decision to end a relationship of any kind, especially a long term relationship or marriage, is never a simple one, because “love” is not the only factor in determining future compatibility. Sometimes there is more in the relationship that is worth saving. In addition, there are specific timing problems that compound the issue. For example:
- If there are any children involved.
- If you are breaking off an engagement shortly before the wedding.
- If you are facing some type of life hurdle that may be adding to your stress.
These are examples of circumstances that could contribute to the decision of whether or not it is time to end a relationship. It’s never a bad idea to see a couples counselor in Long Island. Even if you plan to break up, counseling can help you learn more about how to do so amicably, and how to recover and seek out better relationships in the future.
But there are also clues that couples counseling is in your best interests. These include any of the following:
- Reasons to Stay – If you feel like there are reasons to remain in the relationship, such as the presence of children, couples counseling is a good option. While not all relationships can be saved, the fact that you feel there are reasons to save the relationship indicates that it is worth seeing what you can do to at least make it better, whether you remain in the relationship or choose to end it.
- When There is Something to Fix – Some people’s relationships have struggled frequently to progress. But others have a single issue, such as communication or stress over finances. Couples that have specific issues that can be addressed in counseling should consider therapy first.
- If Your Priority is Each Other – Staying just “because” of children or “because” you are close to an engagement is not enough of a reason. Your priority has to be your happiness. If you’re willing to try to make yourself a happy couple, couples counseling is a great choice. If you are only in couples counseling because you have kids, ‘fixing’ the relationship may be more difficult.
If you have been happy in the past but your relationship has struggled, and you have never experienced couples counseling before, you may want to consider it. At our couples counseling sessions on Long Island, we’ll look specifically at your current relationship and see if couples counseling is the best choice for you. For more information, please call me today at (516) 732-0273.