There are few things as emotionally draining as stressful as going through a divorce. Regardless of the difficulties you had in your marriage, someone that was an important part of your life and identity is leaving, and you are left moving on.
That’s likely why it seems so many couples struggle to divorce on good terms. In addition to the court battles, there is an emotional connection between you and your former partner that is hard to break, and that can lead to ups and downs, confusion, and frustration that continue long after you have separated.
Moving On For Mental Health
Still, it’s important that you try your best to divorce on good terms, both for your mental health and for the mental health of anyone else involved. Divorces can be stressful, and if you live near Long Island and need someone to talk to please feel free and call me today at (516) 732-0273 and we can talk about the pains of the divorce. You should also consider the following tips for divorcing on good terms:
- Create a Game Plan – Uncertainty can be a difficult emotion. You, and ideally you and your partner, should have a game plan for what you’re going to do. Who’s going to move where? What will you do if you have disagreements? How will you handle friendships? Taking some time to consider a concrete strategy can help prevent any unnecessary complications.
- Keep Busy – Both partners need to make sure they’re spending their time on something productive. The mind has a tendency to stray towards negative emotions when it has nothing else to focus on. So keeping yourself busy with healthy activities, including sports, art, and other outlets can decrease some of the high emotions you feel after a divorce.
- Consider Fairness – There are going to be times when you feel as though you’re not getting what you want out of the divorce. For example, when splitting property, many people feel as though everything they purchased together should belong to them. But remember that you and your husband/wife had a partnership, and when you split that partnership, there are going to be items you lose out on.
- Don’t Concern Yourself With Your Partner’s Life – A tough one for all divorcing couples (even those that have divorced on good terms) is to stay out of their partner’s lives. Yet it’s important to remember that the more you look into what your partner is doing, the more you’re going to find only information that upsets you. Try to separate yourself from their life and outcome as much as possible to avoid any unnecessary emotion.
- Don’t Be Afraid to Seek Counselling – It’s commonly believed that marriage counsellors like myself focus only on trying to prevent divorce. And indeed, many of my clients are couples hoping to rekindle love. But I also work with many couples in and around Long Island that have already decided on divorce, but need help working out their issues. Ideally, both partners will come to seek help together to figure out how to divorce on good terms, but it’s also possible to seek therapy for yourself so that your own emotions remain in control.
Moving on from a divorce can be a difficult process, but all couples can get there. If you think you need help overcoming divorce in or near Long Island, contact me today at (516) 732-0273.
