Anger control and anger management issues are highly damaging to relationships. Issues with anger control refer to dysfunctional ways of handling or using anger. Those who struggle with anger control often frequently experience rapid bursts of anger that cannot be toned down, and may result in intimidation, emotional abuse, and in some cases physical abuse.
The feeling of anger itself can be normal, especially if it occurs infrequently and as a justifiable reaction to a dangerous event. But if the anger occurs often, or at inappropriate situations, or is inconsistent with the level of distress that should be experienced, anger control may be an issue, and that can put significant distress on the relationship.
Signs That Anger Control May Be a Problem
If you are worried that someone may struggle with anger control, the best thing you can do is talk to a couple’s counselor. But there are signs that someone may be struggling with anger management. Any violence, especially frequent violence, is a sign of abuse, and likely linked to an anger management issue.
Additional signs include:
- Breaking or Hitting Things – Not everyone that struggles with anger management may be violent against you. But some may still need to let out that anger on something else. If the individual is breaking items or hitting items, it could be a sign they struggle to hold in their anger.
- Becoming Enraged At Minor Slights – Anger is a very different emotion than disappointment. Those that become intensely angry or frustrated at minor issues may be struggling with anger control.
- Damaged Relationships – If relationships, either at work or at home, have been hurt because of anger, it is likely that the anger has become unmanageable. Indeed, anger that cannot be controlled frequently will cause issues at work and home.
Another sign of anger management problems may occur after the anger has subsided. Some of those with anger management issues find that they experience deep remorse and regret after it is over. This is often a sign that the anger is simply uncontrollable. Whether or not the anger management is hurting your relationship, it is also the type of issue that benefits from help.
How to Address Anger Management Issues With a Partner
Anger management is not something that you can simply ignore and hope that it goes away. That is because anger management problems mean that the anger itself is unmanageable, and not something that the person can simply turn off over time. Anger management counseling, especially when combined with couple’s counseling, can help decrease the damage anger does on the relationship, and possibly help the individual control their anger issues.
If you are interested in learning more about anger management counseling or couple’s counseling in Long Island for those that are struggling with anger, or individual relationship counseling for those trying to heal from anger management issues, call Long Island psychologist Dr. Marc Shulman today.