(516) 732-0273
Offices in Garden City and Lawrence, NY.

(516) 732-0273

docshulman@yahoo.com

Gottman Therapy on Long Island | Is It The Best Choice?

There are many couples counselors on Long Island, and indeed throughout New York, that subscribe to a philosophy of therapy known as “Gottman Therapy.” Gottman – a highly regarded researcher from the University of Washington – used mathematical models that could:

  • Determine Relationship Success
  • Provide Strategies to Improve Relationships/Marriages
  • Identify Problem Areas in a Relationship

His findings have had a substantial role in helping therapists determine some of the challenges that couples face in relationships, and what may need to be addressed in order to fix the relationship. The “Gottman Method” is, by far, one of the most well known therapy treatment options used by dozens of couples therapists on Long Island alone.

Widely Respected – Not Always Best

Gottman’s research has played an outstanding role in helping couples strengthen their relationship and fight problem behaviors. I integrate many of these findings and strategies into my own Long Island couples counseling.

But I don’t describe myself as a Gottman Therapist. That’s because, while the strategies used in the Gottman method are valuable, they are only one of many different strategies that are available.

I have long believed that every relationship is unique, and both partners are their own unique individuals. Limiting you to the Gottman Method – or any pre-planned or “cookie cutter” intervention – may not be the right approach if the symptoms and issues that you’re experiencing in your relationship require something different than the formulaic approach to any one type of therapy.

Some of the interventions in Gottman are quite useful. But so too are many others. In order to determine what will best improve your marriage, we have to look at all of the different factors that go into it:

  • Your past experiences.
  • Your current experiences.
  • Your attractions.
  • Your individuality.

For example, what if a relationship is struggling because a partner has depression? What if trust was broken due to misunderstandings that require their own healing process? What if there are external factors that have led to the development of these relationship challenges?

Without discussing your unique relationship with you, there is no way to know what you need. So while I do employ some helpful Gottman interventions, I also believe that your relationship benefits best from knowing you, and determining what you specifically need to move forward.

This may be some aspects of Gottman therapy, or it may be something else, like CDEL. It depends on what works best for you as a couple. For more information about my Long Island couples counseling services, please call me today at (516) 732-0273.