Over the years, as I worked as a Long Island couples counselor, I started to notice that couples counseling in the sole context of the couple ignores a crucial component of a real relationship – that a couple is not just one entity, but also a relationship between two individuals.

That’s why in my Complimentary Dynamic Experiential Learning (CDEL) approach to couples therapy, one of my strategies is to talk to each individual separately to help resolve individual issues and work through some of the stresses that can contribute to problems in the relationship.

Why Meeting Separately Matters

There are many benefits to meeting separately as a part of couples counseling. A small portion of these benefits include:

  • True Freedom to Share – Even though we do our best to create a safe space to share thoughts, it is more common to have a filter when your partner is there. Yet to work through your problems, you don’t want any filter, and so meeting individually ensures that you feel you can share your thoughts and feelings completely uninterrupted, so that we can work on them together.
  • Individual Problems/Needs – Because every person is an individual, there are often times when you need to work through something yourself in order to make sure your relationship can thrive. Meeting individually gives us the opportunity to talk about those issues, get advice, and work through them.
  • Helpful Guidance – In the context of couples counseling, nothing is meant to be private, since you and your partner need open communication. So everything you share will become a part of the couple’s counseling process and might be shared in sessions. However, hearing your thoughts individually allows me to learn more about you and your needs, discover disconnects, and come up with more relevant direction and guidance to help you heal.

Couples counseling is always complex, because every individual is unique and every couple is unique. That is why it is so important to get to know the couple as individuals and as its own entity. Only by learning as much as possible about you can you have an individualized approach that will help you learn to heal and grow in your relationship.

If you’d like to know about my Long Island couples counseling service, contact me today at (516) 732-0273 and let’s start working on your relationship as soon as possible.